I've had a lot on my mind lately, and perhaps no outlet to unleash. Do we ever really leave high school? I mean it always seems like in some form of a way, life is always revolving around some high school form of drama. Omigosh scandal, so and so is pregnant, scandal the boyfriend is white the kid is not. Scandal he's never keeping his pants up. Scandal she's 2 faced. Well today I had an interview at Carle, for a Patient Advisory Secretary/Nurse, and I really hope I get the job. At this point I don't care what job I get as long as I can get out the job I am in. The lady I interviewed with even specifically said in our interview that it is a great group of people to work, like a second family, without the he said/she said drama. And I said that is exactly why I am trying to get a new job. I am so sick of people getting ahead and hire on dumb luck and sucking ass. I had it all, I was up there, did nothing to screw it up, but for the simple fact I'm not an ass sucker, and I pay the piper with a demotion. I've always known this place is backwards as criss cross. I refuse to be used as a dam work slave any longer. I'm taking all or nothing at all. I am so well freaking qualified it's a sorry story that my talents are not praised, and my hard work is ingorned. So, keeping my fingers crossed for Carle. I will get in there.
So now I'm in the end of my 2nd year of college. It's a slow process, but at least it's going, and I'm going somewhere. I'm in 3 classes this semester, graphic presentations, or a powerpoint class, pathophysiology, and advanced composition. The first 2 classes are going to be easy, my advanced comp class is going to be a struggle. I dislike english class and math class, and writing papers very much.
My kids are doing great. Danika is now 3 and Katelyn is 20 months, almost 2. I really hope to have more kids, and at least a boy, but life is just so crazy, with the 2 girls, trying to go to school, trying to get into a career, changeing jobs. My mom moved to Danville. We don't have a good solid babysitter, and day care is way to expensive, plus day cares are not open every hour we may need. And I don't have a license, so don't drive, and rely on rides from others, which is like a huge pain in the thorn. Eventually one day I will get that card back, and from this year on I am only trying to make good decisions.
It is not October, and in 8 days, the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa's passing from a losing battle of lung cancer. I've been pretty down today, because I still have his obit up on the frig and his visitation paper, along with a picture taped on the wall of him. He was my landlord, and a good sitter for me kids. He was becoming more of a huge part of my life. Now I feel further and further away from my family then ever. My mom moved, my grandma lives in Arizona. My other grandma and dad live 40 minutes away, and I can't drive to see any of them. Also, this past august my best friends mom passed away. And I am just the most upset because our kids are going to grow up without wonderful grandparents in their lives. So much in life is out of our control. How did it seem so easy as a kid and teenager? Well all I can do from this point on is the best that I can do.
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